Self-Hate or Self-Love Challenge – A Summary

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SELF-LOVE: The Big Winner

I couldn’t be more thrilled with the overwhelming response to our 14 Days of Self-Love challenge this month.

We reached over 5,000 people with numerous likes, comments and shares.

Near the end of our campaign, Angie (social media wiz behind the campaign) noticed that Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love), who has an enormous following on Facebook, shared a post on this very topic, receiving over 15,000 likes. Clearly this is an issue of relevance in our society, and we are proud to have been able to contribute to this conversation and movement.

What we found the most meaningful was the personal impact our challenge had on the individuals in our community.

Below are a few comments that were shared through the campaign:

“Working on self-love is an on-going journey …at least for me. One day, a number of years ago I had the startling realization that the amount of love I had for myself wouldn’t fill a thimble. Whoa! Had to make a big U -turn in my thinking…and so glad I did. But couldn’t have done it without support from people like you and what you do”

“Reaching out to High school friends in India -ooh feels so great to be loved”

“Today I will ask a friend what she appreciates about me and I will change my screen saver to tell me something I like about myself”

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Our hearts are full of love and we thank you so much for being a part of this.

In case you missed it, we have prepared a summary of the campaign below.

We also invite you to browse our Facebook page to join the conversation and read the comments and engagement each post received from our loving community.

Because we wanted to broaden our reach and encourage simultaneous participation, we chose to host our challenge via Facebook. That said, we received feedback that some of you would have preferred the daily prompts via email in addition to the Facebook posts. We have heard you and so in the future, we will give you the option to receive daily emails during our campaigns, making it easier for you to follow along.

At the Good Life Therapy Centre, we are committed to helping make the world a better place by encouraging all of us to become our higher selves in loving & meaningful ways. We are glad that you are a part of our mission.

If you haven’t already done so, share this with at least one friend so we can keep love flowing towards you and others. 

In the spirit of love,

7

 

 

 

14 Day Challenge FACEBOOK FINAL

During the month of February, we launched a 14 Day Self-Love Challenge!

We designed this challenge to encourage to take back the authority for your life and know that you can be as happy as you decide to be. It would take you paying attention to all the positive things about you, your desires and your environment. Doing this, the necessary force would be created to form a new neuropathway based on “I value me”. This is you reinforcing the new you.

We encouraged our community to follow along and join us on our Facebook page, with simple instructions: 

Every day post something that relates to the prompt. You can post a photo, a caption telling us what you did, or you can share the image we will be posting each day. Feel free to get creative! Just remember to use the hashtag and browse it often to stay connected!

As you begin to experiment with this challenge, do so with an attitude of “I can’t do anything wrong” – because no matter how much or how little you do, you have begun the very important journey towards loving yourself. Congratulations!!

Below is a summary of what we shared on Facebook every day of the challenge.

14 DAYS OF SELF-LOVE – DAY 1

It’s usually easy for us to acknowledge the good qualities in others, but when it comes to ourselves, we are often quick to criticize and notice our shortcomings more than anything else. Many years ago I was asked in a workshop to share something I liked about myself with the person beside me and I was panic-stricken – I couldn’t think of one thing!

When was the last time you noticed something you did well or that you liked about you?

Today’s challenge is to focus on positive self-talk and write down at least 3 of our best attributes. Throughout the day, make an effort to bring these attributes to your conscious awareness – allowing yourself to feel good about your good qualities.

Here are the 3 things I like most about myself: I’m generous, I’m smart and I’m caring.

14 DAYS OF SELF-LOVE – DAY 2

Today’s challenge is to share your favourite inspirational quote on the topic of self-love, self-esteem or anything that motivates you and makes you feel like you aspiring to live your best life.

Here is mine:

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world”.

– Mahatma Gandhi.

I love this quote because it reminds that I have to become the person I most want to be in order to make the world a better place.

4 DAYS OF SELF-LOVE – DAY 3

If our tanks are running on empty, we are not able to be of service to anyone. Today’s challenge is to make self-care a priority and carve out at least 30 minutes to relax.

Choose something that works for you: reading a book, doing a meditation, going for a walk, taking a bath or a nap. There are no rules! There is nothing you can do wrong, provided it creates a sense of healthy relaxation.

I am going to take 30 minutes today to walk in nature.

14 DAYS OF SELF-LOVE – DAY 4

Today’s challenge is to practice being kind to ourselves all day. Kindness begins with what we say to ourselves – especially if we feel we’ve made a ‘mistake’ or disappointed someone.

Today we will not call ourselves ‘stupid’, ‘crazy’, ‘messed up’, etc. Instead, we’ll say the kind things we would likely say to a friend, like “It’s ok, everyone forgets sometimes”, or “You’re doing your level best, and that’s good enough”.

Kindness includes what we do for ourselves. Our 5 basic needs are: 1. to eat nutritious food when we are hungry; 2. to drink water when we are thirsty; 3. to sleep when we are tired, 4. to go to the bathroom when our bodies say it’s time (and not hold it); 5. to reach out for contact when we are lonely. These actions communicate basic self care.

Pay attention throughout your day to how well you attend to yourself.

Today I will stop being busy late at night and get to bed as soon as I feel tired.

14 DAYS OF SELF-LOVE – DAY 5

Staying connected with those we love is good for our health because our nervous systems are wired that way. We thrive when we know we are not alone!

Today’s challenge is to reach out to a friend/colleague or relative and reveal to them something you are proud of or alternatively, something you are struggling with.

Today I will tell my husband how great I feel about my successes in life.

14 DAYS OF SELF-LOVE – DAY 6

Having a regular gratitude practice has been proven to not only increase our happiness levels, but it also does wonders for our health. Because our brains have a “negativity bias”, we tend to pay too much attention to what is going wrong in our lives –real or imagined.

We spend too little time focused on what is going right – what we have rather than what we don’t have.

So, today’s challenge is to write down a list of five things we are grateful for.

Here is mine: 1. Good health; 2. A loving partner; 3. God; 4. Sobriety; 5. Beautiful friends.

14 DAYS OF SELF-LOVE – DAY 7

Today’s challenge is to do something that increases our confidence. Confidence is defined as: “belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities”. It could be taking time to exercise, a brand new haircut, making a fancy meal, dressing up to look your best, or doing something creative.

Sometimes what brings confidence is facing our fears and doing it anyway, trusting we can. I know that this is something I have done much of my life. It could mean going to a 12-step meeting for the first time, returning after a time away or trying a meeting you’ve never been to. It could mean joining a new group and speaking up about yourself, emphasizing some important qualities about you. It could mean applying for a job you really want.

Confidence builds when we decide to move towards our dreams and learn to tolerate some rejection.

Try something today, big or small, that makes you feel accomplished!

Today I will go for a long bike ride, or work out indoors for an hour as a way to feel physically strong. This will build my confidence as I value being healthy and strong.

14 DAYS OF SELF-LOVE – DAY 8

Another great mood booster is to practice kindness towards others on a regular basis. A single act of kindness -no matter how small- not only makes us feel good, but it also causes a positive ripple effect encouraging others to pay it forward.

Today’s challenge is to do a random act of kindness for a stranger. It can be done anonymously. You can buy a cup of coffee for the person behind you on the line, fill up someone’s parking meter, leave a kind note on someone’s desk.

Feel free to have fun with it!

Today I will buy food for a homeless person and spend time talking with him/her.

14 DAYS OF SELF-LOVE – DAY 9

It is often difficult for us to accept the positive feedback of others because it doesn’t match our view of ourselves. However, learning to think differently and more favourably about ourselves can be facilitated when we allow others’ good opinions to really sink in.

Ask a friend/colleague or family member if they could tell you something they appreciate about you. You can do this in person or over the phone. Try to avoid email or texts, if possible, as these ways of communicating are too impersonal and diminish the effect for you.

In addition, write down one thing you appreciate about yourself, big or small, and carry that around with you, referring to it often as a way to remind yourself of your good qualities. Try to sense into what happens when you allow yourself to connect internally with the sensations of appreciation.

Today I will ask my peer mentoring group to let me know what they appreciate about me. I will also appreciate that I am hard working and dedicated to making a difference in the world. I will write this on a card and carry it around all day.

14 DAYS OF SELF-LOVE – DAY 10

Today’s challenge is to ‘add value’ to your self by recognizing your worth, merit and importance. This builds on appreciation and takes it a step deeper. [As a coincidental note, when I opened my ‘dictionary’ app to look up the word “value”, the word of the day was “nugatory”, which means “of no real value; trifling; worthless.”] And how true for so many of us, who may never have used that word, but felt it through and through.

Today, we are going to focus on challenging any sense of ‘worthlessness’ that we may be carrying. We are going to feel our very presence as ‘adding value’ to the world.

Pick one thing you will say or do today that will remind you to re-orientate your focus on your value. You can help someone to cross the street; visit someone who is shut-in; smile at someone who looks sad; talk to someone who looks lonely; take an SPCA animal for a walk. It doesn’t matter what it is – it’s that you are demonstrating you care and that you matter. By doing this you are recognizing your inherent VALUE as a human being, who was granted the gift of life.

Today I will make an effort to smile at everyone I pass on the street. Smiling is infectious – and it is not possible to feel down when we are smiling. It’s simple and effective!

14 DAYS OF SELF-LOVE – DAY 11

Prioritizing fun does wonders for our happiness and health. We mean it! This may sound simple, but if you have grown up in an unsafe or un-nurturing family environment, you may have needed to grow up fast, becoming a mini-adult to struggling parents.

This is damaging to our self esteem because children’s “work” is to play. Play develops creativity and promotes healthy whole brain development. If we are too serious about life, we forfeit our healthy capacity for silliness and belly-laughter.

Today’s challenge is to make space to play and do something fun. Your endorphins and heart will thank you! Remember, it’s just for one day – and who knows, you may like it.

Today, I will make time to go swimming with my grandson. I will play in the pool like I am one of the kids, leaving behind any tasks or worries, in order to be present in enjoyment.

14 DAYS OF SELF-LOVE, DAY 12 – MEDITATION

Neuroscience is helping us understand the immense benefits of regular, even short amounts, of meditation. It changes our brain to literally make us more present, calmer and more confident.

Today’s challenge is to practice a short meditation in order to feel yourself as love. Sit somewhere where you can focus and be free from distractions. Take some deep breaths and let yourself feel fully connected inside of you.

Imagine that all of your cells are being filled with love – pouring in from a Universal flow that is ever-present. Give this energy a colour – it could be a bluish white, a rose colour or any colour that fits for you. Recognize that as you connect with yourself in this way that you are Love. Feel the presence of love within you – it’s for you and from you. Let all the distractions in your mind go and enjoy ‘being’ with Love.

Today, I will take time in the morning to do a ‘loving’ meditation, feeling myself filled with love that I can direct towards myself and towards others. I will do this again at the end of my work day, to prepare me for my evening.

14 DAYS OF SELF-LOVE – DAY 13

Exercise and movement release endorphins, improve our circulation and our mood! Treat your heart and body by going for a walk, attending a fitness class, doing yoga, or anything that makes your body feel energized and engaged!

Today, I will do Sun Salutations to stretch and strengthen my entire body.

14 DAYS OF SELF-LOVE – DAY 14

Happy Valentine’s! Thank you for following along for the past 14 days!

Today’s final challenge is fitting for the day: plan and attend an amazing date – with yourself!

Take yourself out to a nice restaurant, go look at art in one of the many great art galleries in town, go for a walk by the beach. It doesn’t have to cost money to “treat” yourself. You are putting the icing on the cake, so to speak, for your efforts over the last 14 days and communicating “I love you” internally. Great job!!

Today, I will go for a quiet lunch at one of my favourite places.

Thank you for being a part of this. We look forward to have you join us on our next challenge!

Photo credits: The Elephant Journal, HerCampus.com

About 

Sue Diamond Potts, M.A., is the Founder and Director of the Good Life Therapy Centre which focuses on helping couples and individuals create loving relationships in the aftermath of addiction and trauma.
If you would like help, please call our office to set up a time to meet with one of our outstanding therapists @ 604-682-1484 or Click Here to Contact Us.

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