It’s a fact that we don’t recognize our Greatness enough. Instead, we are conditioned to think negatively of ourselves – see our faults, what we do wrong, why others couldn’t possibly like us. When our body aches, we immediately think something terrible is going on, rather than understand that the wisdom of healing is in progress.
Let’s change that – let’s chose to focus on greatness instead – not in a narcissistic way, but rather in a wholesome and welcoming way. After all, Creator and creation are never separate, so let’s remember to honour the beautiful creation that we are.
India: My Return to the Source
Seeking Truth in the Land of Knowledge, Wisdom & Love
There is something wonderfully compelling about India. Once you have experienced her colourful beauty and felt her spiritual vibration, you are attracted back like iron filings to a magnet. I love India! While discussing this with an 80 year old Russian New York art professor who travels to the Ashram each year on his 2 week winter vacation, he told me, “I even love the ugly parts”. Of course, he meant the poverty and broken down structures and garbage everywhere. But we agreed that all countries have their so-called ‘ugly’ parts. For those of us who travel here regularly there is a richness that far surpasses anything we can touch in the West. India is the ancient spiritual centre of the world and thus is the source of ethereal sustenance so lacking in modern industrialized culture.
This is the time in India of the annual “Mela” – a spiritual festival that attracts sadhus, sannyasis, monks and seekers from all over India who congregate in a tent-city on the banks of the holy Ganges River. This gathering has been going on for hundreds, perhaps thousands of years. In the book, “Autobiography of a Yogi” by Paramahansa Yogananda, an account of the Mela is written by his secretary, Mr. Wright, that very much applies to today:
Our party reached the Kumbha Mela on January 23, 1936. The surging crowd of nearly two million persons was an impressive sight, even an overwhelming one.The peculiar genius of the Indian people is the reverence innate in even the lowliest peasant for the worth of the Spirit and for the monks and sadhus who have forsaken worldly ties to seek a diviner anchorage. Impostors & hypocrites there are indeed; but India respects all for the sake of the few who illumine the land with supernal blessings. Westerners who were viewing the vast spectacle had a unique opportunity to feel the pulse of the nation, the spiritual ardor to which India owes her quenchless vitality under the blows of time.
The first day was spent by our group in sheer staring. Thousands of pilgrims bathed in the holy Ganges for remission of sins; Brahmin priests performed solemn rituals of worship; devotional offerings were strewn at the feet of silent sannyasis; lines of elephants, caparisoned horses, and slow-paced Rajputana camels filed by, followed by a quaint religious parade of naked sadhus who waved gold and silver sceptres or streamers of silken velvet” (p 462).
The Kriyayoga Ashram has its camp on the Mela grounds and each day Swami Shree Yogi Satyam teaches classes, both in Hindi and English in the early morning and late afternoon. It is cold in India this year. The sun has barely peaked out in the week that I have been here. It is overcast and damp, like in Vancouver in the winter, although thankfully, without the rain. It is challenging though, because there is no central heating and concrete buildings are very chilly.
There is not always hot water to be had, nor reliable access to internet or phones. It can all feel extremely inconvenient at times and yet I have no choice but to “accept the things I cannot change”. It teaches me patience and is an opportunity for deeper surrender. I learn that I can’t always get what I want, when I want it, and instead I can adapt, accept and refocus. In fact, there are more important things to focus on, most importantly, being in the ever-transpiring present moment – conscious and conscientious.
Each day we walk down to the Mela, passing hoards of travellers doing the same, most seeking spiritual upliftment that will hopefully take them to a new understanding of their relationship with God. I love how people greet each other here – by clasping their hands in prayer fashion and bowing to one another. It’s an honour to be greeted in this fashion and a way of respecting the Highest Self in one another. My Guru says that if partners and family members did this as a regular practice, then their lives would be much more harmonious. He says:
“ You should worship your wife as Goddess, and worship your husband as Divine Father; children should be worshiped as Divine Incarnation and children should worship their parents as Gurus. Then the family home will be like Heaven.” (Ohio, 2013)
With this in mind, I’d like to offer a challenge to all of you reading this. Take the time today to honour lovingly someone you are close to. Bow to them and while doing so visualize the very best you know that person to be – it’s a quiet gesture that speaks volumes. Or, forgive them for some wrong they have done to you and extend the proverbial ‘olive branch’ to them. As you do this, make note of how it feels inside you. If you notice that YOU feel better, then keep up this new practice, knowing that, despite what many are taught to believe, it is you who is in charge of how good you will allow yourself to feel. What appears at first as a ‘selfless’ act is at the heart of it, quite ‘selfish’ – or as Stephanie Covington says, “self-full”. We are all connected in the unified web of life and so whatever we do to make someone else’s day a little better turns out to fill us up too.
Tell me: How happy will you allow yourself to be? Decide and take action.
Until next time, I bow to the Cosmic Consciousness that you are,
Vancouver Counselling Can Help Couples Avoid Relationship Pitfalls
The high divorce rates in Vancouver nowadays bring the spotlight to the issues that often cause strain or lead to the failure of a marriage. Infidelity, dissatisfaction, communication problems, or loss of physical attraction can all cause couples to reevaluate if a partnership is indeed worth saving. If you have both decided that the marriage is worth keeping, then it’s time to have a fresh, new perspective and start again.
Take the First Step to Freedom: Addiction Counselling in Vancouver, BC
Despite the destructive consequences of an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and drugs, Vancouver has an addiction rate of 11%, which is higher than most Canadian cities. Most people initially start to use these substances to relax or to escape reality, but it can quickly turn into an addiction that changes the personality and makes the struggle to cope with real problems harder.
Addiction is the farthest thing from being free; it pulls you in and makes you believe that you can’t live without certain things. If you want to be free from these addicting substances that are taking over your life and separating you from loved ones, you must start working toward an alcohol-free or drug-free life today. Overcoming addiction can seem like a daunting task, but these steps can help you realize your goals:
Six Strategies for Emotional Sobriety over the Holidays
This time of year, with its seeming emphasis of “Peace on Earth and Goodwill to All” can nonetheless be a very challenging time for many. It can dredge up memories from early years that included alcoholism, poverty, stress and/or disappointment. It can put current pressures on us to conform to spending sprees that impress and live up to others’ expectations. And last but not least by any stretch of the imagination, it is a time of increased intake of alcohol and drugs as the “celebrations” multiply. All of this means that it is smart to pay close attention to how you are navigating this Holiday time in order to preserve and even enhance your emotional sobriety.
Here are six simple strategies I want to share with you that can make a real difference:
1. Stay Present
It’s easy to get swept up by the busyness of this time of year and forget to slow down enough to check in with ourselves. In order to be able to meet the wave of pressure you may feel, practice being more mindful. Remember – if you stay connected to yourself – to your breath and body, you will “know” what YOU want and what is best for you. There is a lot happening inside of you, in the way of sensations and changes that will tell you if something or someone is stressing you out. Make a real effort to pay attention to these signals to guide and inform you to do only what brings you true happiness and peace of mind. Because there is a lot more ‘imbibing’ of alcohol and other party substances, it’s so important to know when you are feeling triggered and to take action that protects your physical and emotional sobriety. In order to do this, you must stay present.
2. Stay Connected
Human beings are neurologically wired for connection with other human beings. It’s how we know who we are from birth onward. It’s also what helps us regulate distress when we are anxious, afraid, lonely or sad. We need others – and we need them to be caring, loving and supportive in order for us to feel safe enough to open up and show our true selves to the world. Make time to connect with those family members, coworkers and friends who support you for who you are. Go to more 12 step meetings than you usually do, or attend your Church or Synagogue or any other group which has liked-minded values. Just being together with others who care will increase your sense of belonging, and in doing so, will release soothing neuro-chemicals that actually make you feel better. Be sure you are talking to your loved ones about how you are doing and reaching out to them when more support is needed. If you are struggling emotionally and can’t muster good feelings, find others who can and follow them around. Being in the company of happy people can be contagious.
3. Create Healthy Rituals
If the Holidays are loaded with negatively-charged memories for you, you may have decided to just avoid this whole time of year. While that is certainly an option, in making this choice you also create a void in your life. By focusing your energy on avoiding something unpleasant, you miss a potential opportunity for new positive connections and memories to be built. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood, but it takes being willing to invest in creating pleasant experiences in our current lives that can replace the old, hurtful ones. If this interests you and you are curious about what is possible, why not let your imagination soar in order to introduce new rituals that are based on loving connections and healthy fun. Think outside the box and give yourself permission to spend the Holidays any way you like, provided it creates a sense of importance and is joyful for everyone involved. Plan a sleep over party with your best friend(s). Buy yourself an awesome gift. Go carolling or driving around the city to look at the lights. Have a hot chocolate party and play games. “We can add to the list ad infinitum…”
4. Give Gifts of Meaning
“Knowing how and when to give” is a beautiful quotation from the book “, Alcoholics Anonymous and refers to the importance of putting the ego aside and accepting that you cannot be all things to all people. In the Holiday context it really means replacing the idea of buying because we are “supposed to” (guilt and obligation) towards a reflection about how our gifts communicate our deepest care about the other. You may be thinking that this would eliminate some of those whom you really don’t feel intimate with, even if they are on the “supposed to” list. And yet, being more authentic to yourself, you might discover that finding something special for someone that is meaningful rather than expensive, can bring back some delight into the ‘spirit of giving’. Often it is true that ‘less is more’ and I love it as a reminder at this time of year, so that the Holidays do not financially burden you well into the new year. Being able to replace ‘cost’ with ‘thoughtfulness’ can truly deepen your connection with both yourself (what matters to you) and with those you love.
5. Generate Joy
You are probably not in the habit of thinking of yourself as a generator – but you are. Too often we are in “receive” mode and reliant upon the moods and generosity of others, to determine our own inner state of being. In fact, if we have a difficult interaction with someone that upsets us, we can press our “reset” button to something in order to put aside the negative mood and approach a more joyful state of mind. That’s not to say we can’t feel our upset, but once it’s done, we can reassert our boundaries and make decisions about how to generate more joy. Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world”. I think this time of year can be an opportunity for each of us to take personal responsibility for spreading joyful interaction, generosity of spirit and kindness towards all, even those who are the most challenging.
6. Practice Peace
A student once asked her master, “How will we ever realize world peace when there is so much war still going on?” The Master told her to think about it like this: “If the earth was covered in spikes and you want a smooth path to walk on, you could cover the entire earth with leather – so that everywhere you went, it would be smooth under your feet. But that would be a near impossible task and take an inordinate amount of time. Instead, you could put on a pair of leather sandals, and then everywhere you walked, it would be smooth under your feet.” The message of course is that each of us can spread peace in our world if we have peace within. This means taking time to pray and meditate regularly so that you can connect with the Source of omnipresent power, peace and knowledge. Doing mindfulness practices like yoga, meditation, tai chi, etc. helps us to develop an inner calm that translates into making better decisions in times of stress. Everything we do flows from our relationship with ourselves.Throughout the day, practice acts of kindness with yourself, so there is no pressure for you to be anything more than you are in this moment. Give yourself permission to be imperfect and love yourself for it.
Wishing you and your loved ones an emotionally sober, joyful Holiday Season.
Vancouver Couples Counselling Helps Embattled Spouses Work Things Out
More than 70,000 divorce cases are filed in Canada every year, a third of them involving first-time couples. Loss of intimacy is cited as a leading cause. Meanwhile, more than two-thirds of women initiate divorce.
There’s a lot of talk over the Internet about how to save a relationship that’s on the rocks. However, a study states that struggling couples need only two things: kindness and generosity. Continue reading